Resilience...what is it and how to build it...

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Challenges are an inevitable part of life, but struggling is a choice.  If we strengthen our emotional fitness, and create support for ourselves (be it thoughts, emotions and actions), then we can choose to navigate the roller-coaster of life rather than struggle.  And the good news is that it’s small daily steps and not big life-changing measures that are required.

I believe we need to reframe our understanding of resilience, for us, our children and our teams:  It’s less ‘bouncing back’ from adversity but ‘bouncing forward’ in a way where we grow from the learning and experience of the challenge we face.  In psychology terms it’s ‘positive adaptation amidst adversity’. 

As we explore in neuro-science terms, our brain goes into overdrive when we face adversity.  It will spiral, imagine all sorts of consequences and scary stuff that may never come to pass to protect us when we face a challenge because the one thing our brains hate is uncertainty.  So our task is to take control and counterbalance the brain’s negativity bias.

There are a few steps we can take to help:

Regain Control (stop the brain ruminating and catastrophising)

ACCEPT and acknowledge – What are the FACTS?  Drop the judgments/assumptions or drama. This provides perspective and help regain control.  The brain will thank you as will your energy.

ACTION – What is the single small thing I can do to move forward. Momentum provides direction and creates a plan.

GRATITUDE – Counterbalance the brain’s negativity bias with what is also good/going well.  Make a list of three things that are good/going well.

SELF COMPASSION – talk to yourself as you would a friend in this situation. Say something supportive to yourself.   Beat yourself up with a feather as opposed to a stick.  Why ? it’s a complete waste of emotional energy to berate yourself.

TRIBE - Know who to reach out to.  Have your go to person at the ready – a resilience buddy, BUT be strategic, what kind of support are you looking for and who is best placed to provide.  And vice versa, be there for others.

Building a Personal Resilience Plan

Annie believes that just like our financial plan, health plan or career plan, we should create our own resilience plan.  Being deliberate and strategic in exploring our resilience, whether as a mother, partner, leader or graduate, we are better prepared for what’s ahead.  We can’t predict the challenges, but we can arm ourselves with the knowledge of how we might react/act and come through them stronger.  This is an important module for many of Annie’s clients and she will elaborate in theory or a case study for the purpose of the panel discussion, framing in a professional or personal context as required.

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